ck Shen Ke Log ( 67-75 )

12 / 4 (2006/12/04)

I do not mind the fact you do not love me.

I do not mind the truth I do not adore you.

I do not idea if you lie to me.

I do not mind if I lie to you.

I do not mind you have a few women.

friends that I do not mind me vanity.

I do not mind what kind of person you are.

I do not even need to know any of your things.



just because you are willing to attach me that day a small conversation.

just because you always ask if I have to eat, sleep good.

equitable because you suddenly say to me.

just because you told me good night before going to bed I love you.

just because your eyes For a moment it looks like him.


I am willing,
with you.

and quietly maintain this relationship.
quietly like you. 12/11 (2006/12/11)

start overeating.
eat many, many entities.
stone onset when the pain can be dragged desperately grabbed all things.
complete pain vowed not eat on their own,
do not let sensations control desire.
still the same the next day.

I'm hungry.
really hungry.
hungry.
stuff many my tolerate was stuffed full of even make it, take the acidic water.
still hungry.

I can not stand this starve.

morning, morning, midday, afternoon, nightfall, night, night, early morning.
at all times the repose down, I have to keep looking for food to fill his own.
fruit yogurt cheese biscuit cake cookies comfit sweet chestnut Phi Sasha La Pine
hand enough to obtain all the edible
all regardless of whether nationalistic to eat the sweet before the
all eat salty.

strictly disallowed by physicians to lest greasy.
so it should be safe.


work to go back in the gate smoking, Margaret Chabot them. Xie Wen
be met.
literally screaming.
say how do you squatting here. Fast, fast, stand up.
seems like this drug,New GHD Professional Black Straighteners, oh.

I stood up, looked at her dizziness.
she began to nagging.

I had to return to squatting on the floor, suddenly peevish death. Xie Wen
I looked up to her gently that you do not talk to me now please.
her mouth suddenly stopped, a little wondered, mortified and looked at me and said, oh.
then walked away.


night to play billiards.
feel back.

bath home, or be careful not to touch the chest.
milk ring eventually listen to the crab, pick up.
repeated inflammation.
white when I ache.
dry.

tongue swelling was finally complete.
good.
good.
others like a week, I literally spent 2 months. Another World (2006/12/15)

seems that some people suddenly pressed the radio clasp.
all noisy abruptly stopped.
quiet around to some deformation.



somebody jumped down from upstairs.

like a flesh and blood fraught the old toy, was thrown from a height at random.
lumbering across an arc, to publish a blunt sound when falling objects.
without warning.
odd location to stretch the floor.


he tried to migrate the body.
trying to point the sound issue.
his mouth wide open so big.
but only to lift the ponderous hand with all his strength.
slow and misrepresented arched fingertips, you want to wipe clean a Unit at one time the mouth of dark blood.
a moment his face looks like a child eating candy in the mouth afterward touching the side of the syrup, while the childish and rapacious to ask her mama to the second teeth as candy.

side of his head slightly prejudiced.
body like a crowd of pork gone bad perception, stationary.
This seems at odds.
like sub-home two unrelated things, rigidly connected attach.

and emits dark red liquid,GHD Green Styler Straighteners, this time with some viscous stuff.
and head around the splash, and likewise stretch the scatter of shine ruddy fluid, the formation of bright contrast.

his face no longer have that child.
make love like a man she nice after that moment. Ferocious and barbaric.
rotated over the filthy looks, in a strange aptitude to fast jolt. Then quickly weakening.

he once again tried to sound.
this little success.
he sent in a hoarse and staying woe. Rolling sound in the throat.
hand is still stubborn in his mouth mechanically polished.

Adam's apple is virtually imperceptible twitch a few times.
his efforts to reinstate some perception seems, but to no advantage.
these organs do not like in this moment of his own.
also or too painful,GHD Pink Limited Edition, he even can not furnish to moan.

expression back again a few seconds before wiping his jaws that syrup kid.
like a infant and her mother did not like to receive due candy, angry, and tired as.
slowly closed his eyes.



sound back.
wall of sound from the car, distant cries of hawkers
chat sound, scream, call condemning the formation of a buzzing web, accompanied at overwhelming the eardrum.

a patient stuck his head out the window upstairs, pointing to the cement floor below the male, hee titter.
flew over a patient, while screeches, then your eyes broad open, his face was not trace of horror, pretentiously phoned the nurse.
withdrew to the tree side of a patient, crouched huge mouth retching up. While angrily swore insolent words.
a patient playing with clothes, lazily to the side with a glimpse, like just have someone step on a rotten orange, as then deadpanned back to continue basking in the sun to concentrate on violin with clothing or jewelry line.


several doctors with nurses and medicinal staff upstairs carrying a stretcher down.
quickly, calm, even with Jisi impatience.


people suddenly began to rise.

then I have been a pair of warm hands and blindfolded.
mind a blank.









I tidy these days to see.


teams of young people, old squatting listlessly waiting appearance the dark chamber, waiting to receive psychiatric hospital handling are free in the house every day with a limited delivery of methadone.
I stood at the entrance so with boats.
the nearest man, wearing only a thin cotton shirt, sleeves rolled up, casually rubbing the eye of a needle full of the arm. Grimace in pain.
I favor the knee-jerk, according to constrict his arm.
two people looked up at me and asked me which one is not new to nurses.
I shook my head.
they whistled.


3 floor.
a drooling looks handsome boy holding a muff of graffiti on the pill ran, giggling wildly at me to show off.
even boats on the lad afterward to the gaunt woman mention hi.
wait for them to go away, quietly told me that it was the boy's mother.
boy was 17 years old, was once the city's converge on lofty educate gifted students. Parents are university professors. Scholarly.
university entry examination, examination, then overnight schizophrenia.
IQ becomes 5 years old.

a few clothes to wear blue and white stripes and pearly middle-aged men get together patients,
squeeze in a ward of the window, punch human ashore the following site hanging Rengzhao soft plastic water bottles.
sent waves snapped Jianxiao.

an old man rickets back, sitting in the corridor in the eclipses, motionless.
mouth slightly open, and sometimes red passing nurse suck suck saliva.

an old madam in our down time and slide away from us,
turn around and stumble to follow us.
so dull eyes when we look back at us whisper prayers, but also like talking to himself.

face with a little joy.
She has been with us about the motorcar, until the nurses arm back.
still kept back at us, his mouth still kept saying,
like in a sunny afternoon, quietly reminding neighbors remember this like home Clothesline.



keep people die.
They told me a few weeks antecedent, was watching TV together when there is a dangling patients accidentally block the back people's consideration.
the back of a patient suddenly stood up and he took that step stools were smashed down desperately back of the head.

died a death.


They told me there was a pretty juvenile matron, committed suicide numerous times deserving to a failed a standing ovation, attempted.
nervous malfunction. Sent in.
months from without household and friends to visit her.
she did not speak to anybody. Refused to take medicine injections.
crazy,GHD Straighteners NZ, for each of the doctors and nurses come in throwing things.

nurse in a morning meal and base her body yet chilly.
curled in white bed. Wiping his face with thick rouge.
side wall with a marker filled with her lover's name.


they told me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...




infrequent winter temperatures rise.
I sat in the car, open the window, his eyes looking out the hustle and bustle of the avenues in the sun sparkling with little dust molecules.
tears slowly streaming down.

flow it, so I proceed to cry.
until clean the dust on the retina,
eyes so that I tin discern extra apparently.


this empty world.
12/17 (2006/12/17)

or do not want to explain. Or do not explain.
I suddenly felt that I once again became the story that the shepherd children.
who lie to you. Just because you quit me scared.
to really turn over time, but always because of some remaining certify can not be trusted never ever had.

could have been good.


you go to a area where I go, my colleagues and say hello.
summer total about your meal, you smiled and told him I wanted him to take oversight, not euthanasia.

these days you gave me several Dayton cook dinner.
these days each night I go with casual one-hour step.

you sit in my room with my calculator read the news.

calmly in the living room we talk about future things.
not deadlocked, not arguing.
I tell you I will work hard. Not let you down.
you say your child is the best. You want to mart for her one of the maximum perfect access.
I've always angry Why did you and mom are like freeze-frame my hereafter.
But that moment, I suddenly felt what I can accept.
at all times you say, I am compliant to listen.

we watch television together.
your arm around my elbow.
as gently as a child holding my hand.

my hand and your like. Bone strange.
the wide palm, fingers are long, thin wrist to death.

you say that I lost, I bought you to give to eat of. You inquire what I like. You inquire what I want.
you say I grew up, the fall in love. I want to ask you what kind of boyfriend.

I suddenly think I talked to a disappointing love.
when you are in my home.
I constantly spit back drunk at night.
middle of the night sitting on the bed roar.
you beat the door for a long time, I was open.
night you hug me. Tightly. Also as they are immediately holding my hand. Suddenly I feel a mini
was not wrong. Why do I even forgot to cry.
but tears still fall.
then slowly fell asleep.
woke up the next day when I so afraid of you angry with me.
children are not allowed to fall in love you said. You said very bad boy.

can call me when you do not. You did not mention that thing again.

I even secretly pleased.
your mother will not like.
only in front of me, you can be so moderate.
is not it?





But today, you find that my room had a bag of empty needle.
in the night,GHD Black Butterfly 2011, ashen face you hold it, throw in front of me.

I sat in the alive room sofa Leng Leng looked up at you.
said not a word.
I want to say I did not, I want to tell you not what you think of.
whom can I think I grasped the pharynx like. What did not.
breast Mende death.

you like a another person. Like her mother did.
coldly, dissatisfied, saw at me sarcastically.
you did not speak.
seems certain everything.

I had to stand up and slowly hiked back to his room, it is hard to shut the door.
somehow temper.

aunt asked me to dinner, I should not.
aunt said I heard you forget, do not control her.
I listened you say you want to go back tomorrow. You busy.
You said voicelessly have seen the look, it appears that she still the same. With her go. The absolute grew up.

I started the computer speaker was quite noisy.
listening to loud music.
diary.
kept in an vacant file written on a long, long journal.
the same as the talk magazine.
write this and unravel it.
then deleted.

my stomach began to hurt.
today 16. Later than 10 days.
time suddenly come.
I sat in a chair clutching his stomach.
the room without sanitary cloths.

I do not go out.
do not want to see you.
do not want to talk to you.
not aid you do everything better I feel hopeless phantom.
even now I did not.
I did not. 71 Re: An motif [CK] C, k small anger entire the record record (2006/12/18)

(2006-12-17 17:50:16) ck
I got home, and you want to send me Shaa, hurry
(2006-12-17 17:50:29) Cretaceous
finally came
(2006-12-17 17:50:34) Cretaceous
waiting for you a long time
(2006-12-17 17:58:04) ck
how?
(2006-12-17 18:02:30) Cretaceous
then quickly fast

slow death of distinct girl
(2006-12-17 18:02: 46) ck
! Not allowed to call me then!
(2006-12-17 18:02:57) c.k
this is what?
(2006-12-17 18:03:09) Cretaceous
obviously `is operating
(2006-12-17 18:03:17) ck
SO?
(2006-12-17 18:04:11) receive the file stored in the Cretaceous
E: zs temp folder 06 12-17 18:05:34) Cretaceous
then finished?
(2006-12-17 18:05:47) ck
Well, I opened
(2006-12-17 18:07:09) Cretaceous
mecamylamine days to get it today ?
(2006-12-17 18:07:20) c.k
. . So
you want me to do?
(2006-12-17 18:08:05) Cretaceous
to help me achieve it

yesterday I did not drink too much time to sleep one day ``
forgotten today, Tuesday have to pay `` Ai
(2006-12-17 18:08:12) ck
... ... you do go! ! Talent,GHD Black Styler Straighteners! ! !
(2006-12-17 18:08:45) Cretaceous
is not buddies? ! Shen Ke
(2006-12-17 18:09:04) ck
I do not know you!
(2006-12-17 18:09:35) Shangxiajiu Cretaceous
last saw a pair of boots sham of the Nazi `` AI `` You want to buy it ``
to 3000 `` I retention more memory to your brother is not simple to `` more than 3,000 sets have enough to buy ######y lingerie girl a ``
(2006-12-17 18:11:01) ck
do not need!
(2006-12-17 18:11:16) Cretaceous
and? Wings hard! You come back again so I leave you with no melodrama, ah!
(2006-12-17 18:11:22) ck
- - | | do you coil into the far point.
(2006-12-17 18:11:35) Hi `Cretaceous
grandmother did not give a long call, ah `` `` comes back is the phone call and talk to her a `` good
album that you are? New boyfriend? Hey ``
(2006-12-17 18:11:44) c.k
. . I do.
long cross
(2006-12-17 18:11:57) Cretaceous
before morrow night Tuesday, would pay a `` `` I-on lesson
today you seethe all night I get that done to give the best
(2006-12-17 18:12:14) ck
I'll go to work na! ! You're lunatic, right! !
so much! ! ! !
(2006-12-17 18:12:49) Do not make a fuss
Cretaceous
you do not narrate you to peruse a nice read ``
sibling now give you meaningful things to do this you ``
(2006-12-17 18:13:23) ck
... ...
(2006-12-17 18:13:31) ck
do at the peak of namely segment is not PS
(2006-12-17 18:14:55) Cretaceous
be changing for the better in front of the 3 `PS ``
we do namely a week-on 2 12:00 - 1: 40, by 12:10 merely ten minutes before the Q
before tomorrow, so you must premier mail me ``
(2006-12-17 18:15:18) ck
en
(2006-12-17 18:16:32) Cretaceous
ten minutes did no pass over I hung up
(2006-12-17 18:16:46) ck
know! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
(2006-12-17 18:18:51) Cretaceous
good `` you help me to last that Frontpage is also done right?
(2006-12-17 18:19:08) c.k
. . You do not push for too much ah Shen Yun Bo! ! ! !
(2006-12-17 18:21:26) I will have to lower Cretaceous
a `` hand in papers when the preceptor said, the first 4 operations on FP which, along with her, since she inside look at
(2006-12-17 18:23:00) there are PS jobs Cretaceous
your own assignment should also write down the steps to do ah

remember all the so I beneath ``
(2006-12-17 18:24:58) ck
. . .
(2006-12-17 18:25:29) Cretaceous
remember ah `` `` faster delivery
Tuesday ambition not let me hanging branches or else I come back blow
You




... ...
... ...
So I started screaming in anguish for help on QQ
I forgot to tell Bo Shen Yun PS Actually, I was an idiot.

truly good thanks to Q, and more.
after 4 hours darting good people help me in this damn job done.
and the final decision in which ########ographic images sent to Bo Shen Yun teacher.

completed.

I tired.
determined to nap a slumber forget my anger. Author: ≠ ___ thus of


2008-8-24 09:11 Reply to this expression
72 Re: An idea [CK] C, k all log 12.19 (2006/12/19)

done extraordinarily well, what with it.

what is the use it.
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I changed.
the change, ah.
been changed ah.
been desperately to change.
according to the memory of your way to change.
like you.
brave. Pure.
of you as I would like to become.
so that we never seem to detach before.
half a year.
half a year.
six passes fhardly ever long so long.
everything changed.
everything changed.

changed to 1 daytime wake up I do not recognize myself.
not recognize you.

my eyes alternatively sour to death.
I suddenly so so lonely. So then I think you
.
every day.

these changes so I lost all positiveness.
me with nothing.
my self-confidence.
my firm.
me a sense of inferiority to death. I feel speed up I can not liken to anyone person.
matter how I constantly meet fashionable people, current friends, current sweethearts.
the outside globe.
each person's smile is so dazzling.
so dazzling.
so neat. Even the melancholy, also.
like you like the aboriginal.
like you.

I ignored confusion and panic.
cope with all those strange.
make themselves busy.
I am a person.
I am a person.

but I do not want that day to send you again to anyone.
I even deleted all those who know your friends.


I can only speak against the diary.
said I wanted to say.
on time.
today.
This is nothing.
This is nothing.

I looked at your photos, trembling and kissed your photos.
I am crying tears did not visualize the plenary nose obliterate on the sleeve.
side and Xiao Han speak.
speak. Speak.
increase to her I do not know and who I have the bravery to speak.
In addition to her that I do not know who to believe me.
at least she said the letter.
believe me, she said.
there is a person believe me.
she would not laugh at me.
she is willing to listen to me.


I can persevere more harm.
dad, mother. People around.
I accept and comprehend the love of these injuries.
but I made a error.
one second I let myself lull down.
I began to think of you.
so everything collapsed.

anything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.


I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to none ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.

dead can no longer go back.
not a.
not a.
I want to hold behind.
I want to hold back.
I want to hold back.
I want to hold back.

tomorrow is coming.
immediately passed today.
immediately passed.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.

morrow came.
I put this damn preposterous, no will matter canceled.