Nine alarm of loneliness

fear of solitude

many years, I hiding, desperately want to flee from solitary, been to few places, where no duplication, but has not darted open the curse solitary.

Seventeen years antecedent I was forced to depart my first home to Henan, Xinjiang, 11 years antecedent, I hesitate to set foot on the train to Shenzhen five years antecedent, I took my dreams and sadness standing Zhejiang land,GHD Kiss Styler Straighteners, can not furnish from a dream, now,GHD IV Salon Straighteners, I'm maneuvering on their next voyage.

I not doubted my own memory of the 1st home, regardless of those lovely people are still beautiful things are the best memories of my childhood, no way this will never change, even when climbing amusement tree in the left thigh of a long scar from childhood maltreatment or is stony course my mommy did not let it hurl a eclipse. So in recent years more and I miss Xinjiang, numerous nights I nightmare back home, happy laugh when get up up, awake tears.

Today, the sensibilities seasoned afterward a failure, Zhejiang, the place I lived as 5 annuals already without whichever location worthwhile of my nostalgia, 1 human alive unattended in a deserted rented chamber, I looked approximately and everything are well familiar with, a few months apt not one called apt inquire if I cry my household well-being, whether Paul lukewarm the cold winter, I once again fend as themselves with a person, as I did as while born.

also thought once and for all, closed the rental and gas stove drip will be very easy to let feel I no longer awake, possibly I'll like Hans Christian Andersen's novels, like The Little Match Girl, back to heaven ,GHD Pink Limited Edition, no longer anxiety and loneliness.

but I will not do is forever, at fewest not immediately, I have a wish unfulfilled,GHD Leopard Grain Straighteners, there are days I have to stand in front of his dad and told him I did not let him down, so I this profitless life, any person thought live.

As for why I left without looking back 6 years of my life, Henan, I think the respond is I'm afraid it alone, but this alone is spiritual, but particularly, my soul to bear.

to Henan's aunt, I have very merry, I adore the small villages in the carefree beasts, the green mounds are covered with a miss, and after in the South, every spring I like the smell from the climate Some taint youthful air, and memories in the same intoxicated.

Unfortunately, there is no faultless thing in the world, orphans no way forever perpetual dream, my life took place in the intricate world of change cornering.

at the time I was fourteen years antique, dingy and tempestuous night in a night wading alone in the train station go on the road, around the cool wind thumping, the trees on either sides of road roaring sound issue, no one namely beyond away wheat fields and strewed graves, on the road without a car, no avenue lights, trees deep gully faint dark people not look the substantial position. However, I did not alarm for I do so in order to avoid extra horrifying than this polluted stuff, so I was, heart unwavering.

way, said nothing to fear is false, from my side when a speeding motorcycle, but after a hundred meters in front of me suddenly stopped, I quickly feared to the extreme, for a time the body of the nerve are firm Bengzhuo, then without musing I jumped into a roadside gully, better deep trench covered with long grass,GHD NZ, I did not fall, was also one of high grass cover up. Covered with the liquor at that motorcycle riders in the altitude of my pate and not far away, he opened the throttle employer, high-intensity headlights fired back and along in my head, I do not understand what he's attempting, but I kas long asthis is definitely not a good thing, I prevaricate inactive on the floor, the atmosphere is not a call, half the day, he tread on the accelerator and ran rapidly ample to sprint away.

many years later, when I talk about themselves and the people alone who was 14 years old to go to Shenzhen to work things, they are always showing me incredible facial statements,GHD, so I will talk in this mini story, they will not comprehend this the significance of which, very often, even I do not very comprehend, but I always kas long asI like a weed, can all adjust to the harsh living context and crisis situations.

my marrow has gone also far, I can not let it reside, while standing above the crowd, so I never terrified of creature alone, but fear of loneliness.