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Reprinted from 1512516263 at 15:09 on December 21st, 2010 Read (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
1, fight a couple divorced children, his wife confidently said: owned ATM machine? card who is not who should !
3, the first person to see the sea, sighed and said:
to, just playing on his face, the man angrily:
4, monkeys picked up a card, then climb up the branches to look at is valid and cards. Unexpectedly, in a lightning strike it, the monkey -
child cried and said:
5, the Secretary and Chief of pooling the elevator, the Secretary has put a section chief, said after fart: you fart! Chief said: I did not put -
's. Chief soon be removed from office. Secretary at the meeting said: great things you fart can not afford to be magnanimous, to what you use? -
6, in a fashion, I waited impatiently to see a young girl on a beautiful, said:
and I say something?
time, but if she saw me talking to you, she'll be out of ......
walked out of fashion, holding his left. -
7, Moujun drive in urgent emergency situations where the urine in the empty Sprite -
ran off while the traffic jam is still trying to bottle the trash by a King to the post is filled with Han patrol stopped the Sprite drink left? -
you drink to me! -
9, like the feeling you want: cooking without salt; Apple's not too sweet; drink less smoke; shopping and forgot to bring money. Free -
, I'll think of you, I will not empty your taking the time to think, I really can not spare the air - do nothing, and light to you! -
-10, son and mother to sleep every night. -
mother said: you grow up, marry a wife and mother to sleep it? -
child A: ah! -
mom: That your wife supposed to? -
child said: let her sleep with the father. -
After hearing emotional
Dad said: This child grew up ignorant! -
12, a police dog to see the road over an ordinary dog, appeared and started to go asking it: I am a dog, -
you -
What is this? Ordinary dogs look at it dismissively said: idiot, look at point, I was undercover! -
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13, a man having an affair of the symptoms: the company every day, overtime, home never stick, mobile home on the off, text messages back to the End -
to delete, go to bed snoring loudly, often anti-wear underwear. Control check found three are suspected, four can be confirmed. -
14, panda birthday, blow out birthday candles, the friends had asked it, What'd you wish. Panda said, -
:
it! Hope I can take a picture color photographs.
15, park lovers, women proudly said toothache, M Kiss Is Not pain, neck pain for a while said, and kissed the men and women said it would not hurt, next to a woman on Seeing guy said: God, you can cure hemorrhoids do not? -
16, male butterflies of the female butterfly sings: -
along came the scream, the mother butterfly sings:
17, the first day, the white rabbit to the river fishing, caught nothing, go home. -
next day the rabbit went to the river fishing, or catch nothing, go home. -
third day, the white rabbit arrived in the river, a big fish to jump out from the river, directed at the rabbit cried: -
If you dare to use TMD
Hu carrots as bait, and I flat dead! -
18, one day, a barber to the beat of a selling candied fruit, and to the police station the police asked the barber: Why did you hit the sell candied fruit? My barber said :***, perm in the house, he shouted out
19, husband: is it now? Wife: ten, her husband: the complete it? Wife: it is too early, others do not get some sleep! I asked ten o'clock it? Wife: eleven in the whole bar. -
20, the couple fighting, put a pillow thrown downstairs, a beggar was passing through, Jinki,
la gear sneakers, and then flew the next quilt, beggars ecstasy, wiping away tears rushed upstairs shouting: upstairs in the Big Brother row charitable, to come that woman also abandoned. 21, -
seven years after graduation, and finally take a big project, building a chimney meters, two-month period, cost three hundred thousand, but to Advancer. Finally finished out late last year. Today people to come to acceptance, being yelled die, not get paid. Damn! Drawings look backwards, others to dig a well! -
22. a drunken man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by crowd, a policeman came: What happened? Drunk: do not know, I am also just arrived. -
23. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture. Patient said, I think there are sand shoes to hold the poles shake shoes. TMD has a bastard through there, thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick gave me two sticks! -
24. patient dentist, said:
He replied:
25. eat?!
26. Cowherd and Weaver Girl know down to earth bath, shaking ZZZZZZZZZ interpretation of a love story, it tells us: there is no opportunity to bathe at home, so be sure to go outside shower to wash .....- ;
27. Xiao Ming back to the classroom with the teacher after using the toilet, said:
28. son: ah, and then what.
29. a prisoner executed, the bullet is crying:
30. father to his son a story: ?
31. a man always find a girlfriend, but unfortunately went to fortune. fortune tellers say: you, no woman before the half-bound; not the man's face lit up: That I should have a right later in life? fortune teller said: hey, to later in life you get used to a person's life -
32. friends to go mountain climbing to the top, face the beautiful mountains and rivers of a girl shouting: the motherland ah! my mother! a crush on the boys quickly followed by her screaming: the motherland ah! my wife's mother! - / p>
33. a boy to a classmate to take a sheng nickname, called Pan Zhu, girls crying to the teacher, the teacher agreed to criticism of the boys the next day, speaking teachers in the class: nicknames, can not people like the Han to Jiaosha it ?
one, the most
-
a woman in bed and touching her lover when she heard her husband opening the door into the house sound. When her husband into the room, pointing to the corner of the things: furnishings of a home furnishings. About two in the morning, the husband got up to the kitchen to eat, back to the room when, holding a sandwich and a glass of milk, and gave the plaster, said: three days, even a saliva did not have to drink 。
-
Second, the most
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husband and wife have lovers outside, often find themselves out stimulating,
la gear police, and the two rarely spend the night. One day both at home and have a little guilt on the other side, so extra tenderness. They do not want to sleep until dawn, his wife sat up suddenly stood up and shouted words dream and said: ......-
Third, the
- a woman while at work secretly with Mr. Valentine fooling around. Two days and in bed, the woman came back to hear the voice of the car her husband,
la gear walking shoes, she called her lover, anxiously: go out? Her lover had to pick up clothes, jumped out the window. And he plunged into the even jumped into the group of marathon runners, he had to hand carry the clothes, while running in to join. -
- has a player asked him: When you are used to running all the clothes in your hand? said:
four, the most
- One night, a man walks into a bar, the bartender said, money?! !
five, the most
- travel by car for several days in a boss, due to intolerable loneliness, then to a nightclub seek a beautiful young lady, It Happened One Night, spending a thousand. To avoid the charge of the Finance wife inventory, with the opening of a repair receipt, Remarks: hot weather, the tire burst, with a renewal. -
six, the most
-
a seaside village, the village men most often not at home at sea for a long time. The village almost every woman having an affair, but in the affair will go to the priest after confession. After a while, the priest suggested that those women: [fall] to convey the meaning of the word the new priest, but the new priest took office, the village is forgot to tell the new priest about it. Women still went to the priest to do the same confession with the priest every day that I fell down today. Because too many people fall, so the priest went to the village head, he suggested to strengthen village road construction, so many people often fall. Unexpectedly, the village head is heard laughing. Father to know why so happy to see smiling village, very angry and said:
-
-
seven, the most
-
a funeral industry was working late one day, his work is usually sent to the bodies of the dead before burial or cremation of a detailed examination. When he checked the body of Mr. Wang, he was surprised to find something that Mr. Wang was the longest seen in his life, the biggest one. into the bag in the home. The first show to see his wife: !
-
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eight, the most
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a pair of middle-aged couple, and they have two very beautiful daughters, but they have been longing for a son. They finally decided to make a final attempt, after several months of effort, rewarded for that hard work, the wife was pregnant, nine months later, gave birth to a healthy little boy. The happy father rushed to the nursery to see his newborn son, but was terrified he saw his son saw his life turned out to be the ugliest baby. He went to see his wife and told her that he absolutely can not be the baby's father, and very ferocious questioned his wife:
-
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nine, the most
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Lao Zheng lying in bed dying, his wife and small meditation at the bedside, holding his hand burst into tears, murmuring prayers. Lao Zheng opened his eyes and looked at the little Zen weak, pale lips open and said softly: good, do not talk! I know, this is why I want to poison your reason !
-
ten, the most
- two women in the countryside drink, drink the day has dawn. On the way back, they in urgent unbearable, so bite the bullet and walked into a roadside cemetery. Because did not bring toilet paper, the first woman took off his underwear rubbed, and threw the underwear. A second woman found next to a wreath, then wiped his tear elegiac couplet. Home not long after the two women, their husbands will exchange calls. I will never forget you'!
-
3. a beggar knocked on the window saying: Give me some money. -
Mr.
read, to say: it gives you a cigarette. -
beggar said: I do not smoke, give me some money. -
Mr.
said: I car have beer, you drink a bottle of bar. -
beggar said: I do not drink, give me some money. -
, said: If this is so, I take you to mahjong, I pay you betting on, is you win. -
beggar said: I do not gamble, give me some money. -
, said: I'll take you to enjoy sauna -
beggar said: I do not prostitutes, give me some money. -
Mr.
: Are you on the train,
la gears, and I take you back, let my wife see: a non-smoking, no drinking, no gambling, no prostitution a good man can be mixed Chengsha Yang! - p>
Seven Fairy Lake in the bath
, Journey anxious to see. -
monk shouted sternly toward the lake: the donor,
la gear, be careful crocodile ah! -
flying fairies ########## shore. -
Pig sigh: Leadership IQ can not go beyond ah -
four monk to travel by plane, the way the crash, but only three parachutes. -
a result, Tang Seng said, and everyone to answer, not answer to the jump. -
Monkey: Monkey King, the sky a few sun ah? -
Monkey King: A. -
Monkey: give you a hand. -
Monkey: Drifting, the sky a few moon ah? -
Drifting: A. -
Monkey: also give you a hand. -
happy side of the Pig, so simple question. -
Monkey: Journey, there are few stars in the sky ah? -
. . . . -
Pig jumped down. -
-
Before long, four of them and fly to travel. The way they crash, or only three parachutes. -
they continue to answer questions. -
Monkey: Monkey, when the PRC was established it? -
Wukong: 1949. -
Monkey: give you a hand. -
Monkey: Drifting, the liberation war, 死了多少人 ah? -
Drifting: 250 million people. -
Monkey: also give you a hand. -
Monkey: Journey, that 250 million people in the name of what? -
...... Journey has just jumped from one. -
-
third time, four of them and to travel by plane, and on the way and an accident. -
this time, the Pig said: Master, you do not ask, I just jump. -
then plunged into the stream. -
Joining hands
Monkey: Amitabha, the parachute has four -
1. One night, a ########## man called a taxi, the driver stared at him intently, ########## furious and shouted: You have not seen his mother ########## man it! Driver also furious: I see where you money from his mother! -
-
2. male and female friends to sleep a room, the woman drew the line: Over the line is brutal. Found that men really do not wake up over the line, the woman the man severely beat a slap in the face: you do not even like animals! -
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3. Hongtao meet foreign guests one day and tried to get in a word, saying: I am Hong TaoLiu, foreign guests, saying: I am his mother was seven of diamonds too! -
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4. Zai Zai was my father repaired, he went to find her mother complained: ; -
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5. an old woman can not read, but like to listen to the radio, listen to weather forecasts every day. Asked the family dinner the day:
-
6. cliff waving a mouse, a short front paws, jump again and again, to learn to fly, watched it fall next to the mother bat's badly beaten, worried that: it father, to do not tell it, it is not we own it! -
-
7. and friends to see the sunrise the top of Mount Tai, a friend pointed to the sky, said: Bai! you yelling ah !
8. Ghost: God, I want the next reincarnation, like an angel white body,
la gear on sale, and with a pair of wings, but I still want to suck blood. -
God: What do you do Whisper it reincarnated. -
-
9. A friend for the first time work-study program in the park Maibing Gun, I am sorry crying; this time, where one person suddenly shouted: That friend one, but was happy to follow the call: -
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10. Ants and elephants get married soon, the elephant died. Ants while buried in the elephant, while crying:
-
11. A boy crush on a girl and blow the courage to ask what that girls like boys -
discouraged the boys: -
-
12. One day, I catch the last train out of breath while chasing repeatedly calling: Master! Master wait for me ~ -
suddenly famous passenger stuck his head out the window, slowly in front of me: Monkey King. You do not chase -
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13. Bio exam day, of which one question is to look at the legs of birds to guess the names of birds. Really do not know of a Health, angry on the paper to leave the examination room of a tear. Invigilator very angry and asked him:
-
14. Mongolian beautiful actress After the performance, met with the leadership came to power, and then her hand, Wenhanwennuan, not half a day client was incensed, cordial and asked: What's your name? The actress replied excitedly,
-
15. A man bought a parrot would say Liangzi Who, one day the owner was not at home, there is a change of gas to knock on the door. -
Parrot: Who. -
A: for gas -
Parrot: Who. -
A: for gas -
... ... -
master came home door lay person, the owner wondering, this is Who -
door: for gas -
-
. a woman to take the counterfeit Mai Zaodian, hawkers angry, and very serious, said: Sister, you have given counterfeit money no problem, at least is the plates in the place, you actually draw this money! -
-
. even one step back, draw no problem, to draw you a ten, and five of anything, right? You draw a seven blocks back to it! -
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. seven to seven now, do not say, at least they have painted in color ah, actually a pencil drawing ~! Well, I put up ~! Black and white to black and white! -
-
. that toilet paper can not picture ah! Feel too much ~ worse. Even toilet paper, I recognized it! -
-
. You get to be cut with scissors to edge together the, ah, with Shredded, and edges too exaggerated. OK, I do not want to say a flash -
-
. can you tear a rectangular ah! The triangle to be justified it! -
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! -
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Here is the legendary
counterfeiting goes! -
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; ; read jokes people in this life will be smooth sailing, two dragon off, Sanyangkaitai, Four Seasons peace, Five Blessings, six, cis, Seven is shining, all directions to Choi, Hong mind, perfect, Pepsi Huntoon, a thousand things auspicious and good luck! -
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