你所期待的倔强

这段时间,室友都说我很乖.乖在什么地方呢?乖在自从我上学期期末得了破结石之后,医生建议我每天喝很多水 ,我就去充水卡,每几个小时就打600ml的水喝下去,因为我们三楼的饮水机坏掉了,长年没有热水,不得不 上四楼或者下二楼打水,于是又让我运动起来了.医生告诉我需要多跳动,所以每天我都在寝室像兔子一样疯狂地 跳,室友就笑着说,你这样还没把石头跳出来,就把楼下的"投诉"跳出来了,我也不管,就每天跳,他们觉得我 很乖.第三呢,running asics,我现在睡觉都睡得老早了,以前的话,我是寝室最后一个上床的,每天要么赶稿子要么写工作计划(学生工作很 多繁琐的事情),通常注意时间的时候已经超过2点了,但是这学期一来,我成了寝室睡得最早的,他们到处游荡 一阵,回寝室就发现我已经睡了,他们说,啊,你疯了啊?我嘻嘻哈哈笑个不停,但是还是把被子盖好,睡得很香 .我记得有几天晚上我都做梦了,梦里很古怪地出现了一些未发生但已发生的事情,这句话是不是有毛病,其实不 是,我指的是,原本这件事情已经发生了,但是梦里这件事在发生的时候却不是我当初经历的样子,这样的梦还真 是奇怪呢.
我和水格格说我现在在写新东西,我不知道这本新东西叫不叫小说,但是我写得很畅快,为什么呢?因为我觉得就 像碎碎念一样,全部发自内心的独白,于是打字也很快,当我说我写第一部分一天就写了两万字的时候,水格格说 我是打字机,轩仔说我变态,离仔说我疯了,哈尼说我是打字员,其实都不是的,我又不是每天都写那么多,我只 是那天突然写那么多,那天就是特别想写,就像那天特别想说话,想找个说,说什么都好,就是说天说地,说到我 开心就好.我很享受这样的感觉,特别流畅,就是心里想什么,一下子全部变成电脑上的汉字了,手不停地动,心 里不停地想,好像都没有什么大问题,配合得很好.
我记得大一的时候我在博客上写我好迷茫啊,好迷茫啊,高三的时候也是这样,不知道未来什么样子,不敢想,一 想就过于理想化,怕有落差.这下子,又到了迷茫期了,身边的人都开始准备考研,考公务员,我妈也想我考研, 她说还是考吧,其实我自己并不是很想考了,不管是CET还是GRE,说实话,这些东西我都觉得没什么意思, 或许是大学三年把我的心给放野了,我就想快点跳出围城去.
春节的时候我给我妈说我觉得大学就是骗钱的,让我们都以为它贼好贼好的,结果就是骗钱的,让你非得去读,读 了之后也没什么用,就让你继续读,考研,考博,继续骗钱,说来有些消极了.如果在大学真正学到知识也好,但 是谁叫我原本就不是一个爱学习的人呢,我就想自由自在地生活,所以我觉得我也不适合上班.前段时间在李东宇 的博客上,看见他说,小时候不想上学,长大了不想上班,就是这个样子.我觉得我就适合去做农夫,就自给自足 ,饿了就种点东西,不饿的话就自己玩,玩累了就睡,人干嘛非要追求这样追求那样呢,我觉得好累.这些话说出 来,二十一岁的人说出来,或者我说出来,就显得很幼稚了.但是我觉得这样没有什么不对啊,高中的时候我和班 上的人争论,我觉得陶渊明的生活很好啊,可是身边的人都说那是骗人的,谁会放着高官不做.我现在依旧觉得陶 渊明的生活很好,不管别人怎么说,我就是一个倔强,偏激,有些理想化的人.
我记得高中的时候看许佳的《最有意义的生活》,解颐喜欢走路,她也不知道为什么喜欢走路,但是就是一直走. 当我在图书馆看书的时候,望着那些走路的人,我就觉得解颐的爱好挺正常的,其实我们每天除了睡觉,做的最多 的事情不就是走路吗?走这里,走那里,昨天我给YL说,我之前那本书破了,我想再买本新的,但是卓越当当都 没有了,只有淘宝了,这些书为什么不再版呢?这么好的书,不管多少遍我都喜欢看的书,为什么不再版呢?现在 市场上的书都是什么呢?大家去追求这样追求那样,物质也好,辞藻也好,我觉得真实狗屁一样.最后只有叹气, 然后果断在淘宝上订了一本.
我原本以为我大学四年不会去图书馆的,结果晚节不保,因为该死的结石,我挂了小小的一科,虽然只是小小的一 科,可是对我来说确实大大的一科.好吧,我的大学履历总算完整了,这是我唯一可以安慰自己的话.我在图书馆 看《物理化学》,看一会儿,然后做一下题目,然后看一下许佳的书.这段时间我考虑最多的一个问题,就是我大 学四年买的书和杂志怎么运回家呢?好多书啊,我觉得我人走到哪里,就可以在哪里开书店了.
我要去哪里了呢?我要去哪里了呢?大三的课好少啊,我要去哪里了呢?倔强地走下去,干自己想干的吧,这种想 法,就在博客上写写就好.还是继续泡图书馆吧.
Taken byLecter(http://www.douban.com/people/Llecter/)Place:Music floor of HUSE2011.03
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As a child I think my father was so tall, wide arms to lift me high, let me enjoy the embrace of his father's play. Even 11 years ago that I met an accident, I still see the endless wide arms hold up the father.
It was Christmas Eve 1999, I unfortunately height from 20 meters and fell off,tory burch sale, I was thirteen years old. Began seeking treatment from the long road, 11 years his father stubbornly persists. Even if the mother died three years ago, even if the father is not tall, he is still my care and concern, but also Dangdie and as a mother, I never lack. As a man. 53-year-old is in need of a woman to accompany him to finish this life. Can the father give up. 3 years is not married. Family tried to persuade him to find one, but I know he does not want wronged me. How I would like to father her daughter grow up. Think for yourself you had. So many years you do for me and my mother have seen. You carry me to see the doctor, run around behind my back, seek medical treatment. Almost exhausting. As long as you have said to me what you are willing to cure disease. You did. Wind in the rain 11 years,tory burch flats, you never dropped off her daughter. More difficult and more bitter you did not give up hope. More expensive to buy the medicine you gave me. I remember one of a drug to ten thousand dollars,tory burch outlet, you buy me teeth. Even if all your savings. So many years you have never wronged me received a total let me wear the best of the best. I finished college entrance examination for adults is also an undergraduate. Himself more than ten years wearing clothes twenty years ago. For the mother you try to pay you as a mother I know. All needles and drugs are the best, including her mother as much as possible you want to meet her. Even my mother said travel time due to you. This is your Dad,tory burch reva, you think about it. Daughter has been good. Also work. Although not earn much,tory burch on sale, but enough of the flowers. Although I am not mature enough, but I will slowly grow up, will take care of themselves. Dad, you find a person who loves you now, so many years you are much older, but also by a lot. Especially my mother passed away three years. After the half day you can enjoy the good fortune of the. Daughters do not know what to do for you later in life only by you properly honor. Dad wants to see your daughter more than happy to return to the young. You only have like 53 years old. Dad daughter do not want to drag you out. You see her daughter grow up is also not working? Want to see you smile more than her daughter could eventually becoming smiled hello. In fact, I know you worked hard for me. I'm really good! Daughter, I wish you happiness. You should find a wife we would get along well. You should also happy! After all, worked hard for so long. To pay a lot. Endless love you have written the most beautiful world - father, also in exchange for your love with this daughter's health and life.
This is my father, an extraordinary man, good and responsible father. Hold up his daughter is endless love. Is paid by the true love of his life. I want to say to you: her daughter has grown up,tory burch shoes, in return for her own daughter.

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