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Old 08-24-2011, 04:02 PM   #1
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Default nike air max laufschuhe DuckCow Invasion

DUCK/COW INVASION!
DISCLAIMER: I claim no responsibility from loss of intelligence due to reading this story. This disclaimer is due to the fact that I made two brothers stupider by telling them the topic of the story. Nor do I take any responsibility for insanity caused by this story. Ducks, Cows, and the Snuggle Bear are not my invention and I claim no credit for their invention. (This story really has nothing to do with much. It reflects what goes on in the twisted mind of THE ADMIRAL CALLED SENN! HAHAHA! *gasp*)
And in case I forgot anything in that disclaimer..
Disclaimer This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; you may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change without notice; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; article is provided "as is" without any warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; an equal opportunity article; no shoes, no shirt, no service; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental discretion advised, text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable; keep away from sunlight; keep away from OJ; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this article could be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a physician; articles are ribbed for your pleasure; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts,nike air max damenschuhe, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash,Nightfall UGG Boots, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final.
Kudos to Masterjabba. Thank you.
7:00 am. In the fields and valleys of Justus, there was a rancher who watched cows. Now there was nothing special about this man. He just watched cows and made sure they didn't escape. That's all. But little did he know that he only had about 2 minutes to live..
The first thing that happened was that a plain old farm duck waltzed onto the field and started quacking. Now the man did not know that a new world order was rising. He just saw the duck. But this was no ordinary duck. This was Commander T. Duck. Toilet Duck.
The duck had quacked out a command to the 13 cows of the 13th Cow Division. It was, simply, to attack. The cows lined up, faced the man, and did as ordered in a grisly way-by running over him and crushing him into the ground.
Elsewhere.
9:00 am. A little 7-year-old girl was walking to her first day of school. She saw an abandoned farm building and decided to investigate. She didn't notice that there were 2 skeletons of local livestock inspectors that had been cleaned of all flesh under some brush, or the walls that had fallen down all over the place. Then she saw the cow. She exclaimed "Oh look! A cow! I wonder if it will let me pet it?" She walked over and was about to pat its head, but then she saw its eyes. They were red. And glowing. And the cow was making a mooing sound that was pretty close to a growl. She was discovered dead in the field later that day, her body picked clean, and bloody hoof prints trampled into the ground and off into the distance.
11:00 am. Turfno Village. Most of the townspeople were inside, but a few were out. They were the town doctor, a 3-year-old girl, and her father, who was a carpenter. In the distance, the 13th Cow Division had regrouped and was preparing to carry out more blood shedding plans. They suddenly charged, crushing the people and trampling the furnaces so that the houses caught on fire. They even destroyed the ornamental trees on the edge of the town. Then they formed up into their lines and the leader, Bov Ine Cow, was congratulated and praised for his team's good work.
1:00 p.m. Siton Town. The townspeople were out and about. News of the first attack had been received and the folk were discussing it. Then a single mother with only one child received a phone call from her friend about the destruction of Turfno. She ran outside and yelled for her son, Jason Senn, to come inside. He ignored her, but was about to come in when she came out to get him. Just as he was turning to go in, a cow in a nearby field suddenly became enraged, charged, and killed the mother, leaving Jason to fend for himself. The gatekeeper shouted out a warning to the town and, missing small little Jason, shut the main gate before he could get inside, and Jason ran off into the wilderness.
Throughout the day, more reports came in about attacks and deaths, and soon it became apparent that the world would have to go to war against whoever was doing this. They did not realize that the cows and their duck commanders were not being led by any human, nor that the various militaries would find making war much harder than they expected.
3:45 p.m. NORAD Central. The military is preparing to launch a major recon/destruction sortie to take out any cow and duck groups that they see, in addition to attempting to locate the leader of this insane offensive. As they load assault troops into planes and squadrons of fighters take off from Air Force bases and Navy Aircraft carriers, a report is received concerning the location of the enemy home base. It is believed to be located in the Pacific Ocean. All military forces are concentrated in the Pacific. A massive search grid is formed. As a fighter pilot crosses an island, anti-aircraft tracer rounds begin to light up the sky. He goes down as he is beginning a transmission about the location of the enemy base. As Chinook helicopters and C-130 cargo planes regroup to assault the island, fighters and ships of the Navy and Marine Corps are approaching. In the distance, the military forces of other nations are also beginning to focus. However, in the midst of their attack plans, an enemy force from the East begins to down United States fighters. As the military leaders try to defend, they realize that the enemy here is none other than Omar Kari- Sufar, a Middle Eastern terrorist leader. As the various forces of the world turn to beat him back, a huge squad of more fighters of an unknown type appeared from another direction. These remotely operated fighters are from the duck and cow invasion. Just as the united forces of the world reach an agreement with Omar, approximately half of the world military turns on the other half, apparently by some form of mind control. Within hours of launching the largest military offensive ever, all of the world's forces have either been killed, destroyed, or captured. Few people are left alive, and they are mostly civilians in remote locations that the ducks and cows overlooked.
10 years later, 8:00 a.m. Jason Senn's house. Jason Senn, a 17-year-old boy, wakes up to another day of hoping the invasion will miss him and his family. He gets dressed and goes to the kitchen for breakfast. As he passes his mother, she tells him to talk to his father. He does so, and is promptly informed that his parents aren't his parents! In fact, he used to live in Siton Town with his mother. His father had been gone for many years. His mother died in the Invasion. The couple he'd been living with had found him crying in the woods, alone. Due to the traumatic nature of his experience, he remembered none of it. They wanted him to join a resistance group and help liberate the planet. Jason said, "Riiiight..". After breakfast, his 'mom' gave him a package with a machine gun in it,nike laufschuhe! After getting ammo'd up, he left. Just outside, he scared himself silly as he saw a duck and a cow right by the door. However, they had been trained to speak, and they gave him valuable advice and an access card that would let him in buildings. They'd found it on the run across a battlefield after defecting from the Invasion. Finally, they bid him farewell. He traveled for weeks, living off of the land, until one day he stumbled onto a base with a bunch of people near it. It wasn't a human base, though. As he got near, they noticed him and threw him to the ground. They questioned him about his gun, then when he told them he was fighting,nike air max laufschuhe, too, they let him in. They were a resistance movement that had just been organized, and they wanted to get some weapons from the cow base so they could fight the Invasion. The problem was, there were 6 cows guarding the entrance. Jason, remembering what the friendly duck and cow had told him about the enemy, saw an open channel into the base that the cows wouldn't be able to see. He walked in, slipped the access card into a door, and pulled it out. The door let him into a room with a bunch of tanks in it. He got into one, started it with his card, and drove outside. The rest of the group got in with him. Suddenly, the other tanks started up and went to a platform by the railroad line that served the station. Their tank did the same. Then a train belonging to the Invasion stopped, picked up the tanks, and drove on. As they left, Jason glimpsed a sign that read 'Cow Supply Relay Station'. They were on their way.Topics related articles:


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