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09-06-2011, 12:53 AM
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转载自 85468793 2010年11月02日 21:59 阅读(loading...) 评论(0) 分类:个人日记

1) 组织是什么?
“组织”就是
在你遇到困难时,他说无能为力;
在你遇到不公时,他说要正确对待;
在你的合法权益受到侵害时,他说要顾全大局;
在你受到诬陷时,他说你要相信组织;
在需要有人做出牺牲时,他说组织考验你的时候到了 ;
当需要有人冲锋陷阵时,他说是你的坚强后盾;
在你取得成功时,他说是组织培养的结果

2)北京的房价:
你要是年薪在 300W 以上 二环内你爱买哪儿买哪儿
你要是年薪在 100 - 300W 之间 二环至四环内你爱买哪儿买哪儿
你要是年薪在 50 - 100W 之间 四环至六环内你爱买哪儿买哪儿
你要是年薪在 10W 以下,你就给自己挖个坑,爱埋哪儿埋哪儿

3)
不要跟蜗牛比,人家蜗牛是坐地户,一出生父母就给了套房子,而且走到哪儿房子带
到哪儿,你们跟人家能比么 ……
不要跟蚂蚁比,蚂蚁那是公务员级别,享受分房待遇,人家那蚁穴建的,你们跟人家
能比么

4)
中华民族是一个有智慧的民族
我们发明了错峰上下班解决拥堵的问题
接下来我们还可以发明错峰买房解决高房价的问题
简单的说就是
有些人这辈子买房
有些人下辈子买房

5)
人生痛苦的事情在于刚买的沃尔沃变吉利了
人生幸福的事情在于刚买的吉利变沃尔沃了

6)
中国工会和外国工会的区别在于
中国工会主要组织看电影
国外工会主要组织罢工

7)
鉴于国内油价不断上涨
国家决定成立新的产油企业以打破垄断遏制油价
现在共有四家成品油生产企业
中石油 中石化 中海油以及
。。。。。。。。。
中地沟油

8)
以前春晚是晚会里插播广告
后来是广告里插播晚会
现在看来都错了
春晚是广告里插播广告

9)官场里流传的真理、领导的逻辑:
领导说让你看着办,不是不让你办,而是让你抓紧办;
领导说再想想,不是他没想好,而是要你别再想了;
领导征求你的意见,不是真的广开言路,red wing heritage (http://www.redwingheritageboot.com/products_all.html),而是在寻求同谋;
领导找你吃饭,不是让你品评美食,而是让你去买单;
领导表扬你,不是 因为你真干的好,而是在笼络人心;
领导批评你,不是你真的有什么过错,而是提醒你别站错队伍,red wing motorcycle boots (http://www.redwingheritageboot.com/red-wing-shoes-d1606-c-1.html)。

10)12种新大傻:
1、默默奉献等提拔的;
2、没有关系想高爬的;
3、身体有病不去查的;
4、经常加班不觉乏的;
5、什么破事都管辖的;
6、能退不退还挣扎的;
7、当众对头特肉麻的;
8、感情靠酒来表达的;
9、不论谁送都敢拿的;
10、包了二奶还要娃的;
11、高级名表腕上挎的;
12、摄像机前抽中华的。


11) 同与不同:
同样是干活,领导叫带头,富人叫创业,百姓叫打工;
同样是出国,领导叫考察,富人叫旅游,百姓叫偷渡;
同样是说话,领导叫指示,富人叫名言,百姓叫废话;
同样是要求,领导叫意见,富人叫提案,百姓叫牢骚;
同样是泡妞,领导叫失足,富人叫包养,百姓叫嫖娼。


12)
某重大项目完工后尚有余款,省委常委会开会研究是用来改善中小学办学条件,
还是改善监狱的环境,意见一直不统一。最后一老常委一语定乾坤:这辈子你们这班
常委还有机会进中小学么?顿时沉默,有的擦汗,有的低头喝茶。随后很快意见达成一
致:改善监狱环境。


13) 领导的难言之隐:
喝醉酒的,是领导和求人办事的;
不上访的,是领导和黑户的;
说话不能错的,是领导和主持节目的;
碰到灾情必须捐款的,是领导和工资最低的;
事故发生必须马上赶到现场的,是领导和开救护车的;
加入了就不能退出的,是领导和黑社会;
拿了报纸没时间看的,是领导和卖报纸的。

14)
省长到基层调研,晚饭安排在牧民家。牧民受宠若惊,不知所措。省长下车后请
牧民先进门,牧民激动地说:还是领导前面走吧,我们放羊的在牲口后面走都习惯
了。
吃饭时牧民端上一盘羊排骨放在省长面前,省长说:简单点就行了,牧民忙说:没
事,red wing shoe store (http://www.redwingheritageboot.com/red-wing-shoes-3180-c-7.html),这不值几个钱,平常都是给狗啃的。地方官员忙让牧民一起吃,牧民说:你们先吃
吧,我每天这时候都要先喂驴再吃饭。

15) 国内最雷人标语:
1、河南国道旁:抢劫警车是违法的;
2、铜仁屠宰场:以三个代表指导我们的屠宰工作!
3、山东聊城监狱:人民罪犯人民爱,人民罪犯爱人民;
4、安 徽农信社:人死债不烂、父债子来还!
5、江苏农村:宁可血流成河,red wing shoes (http://www.redwingheritageboot.com/products_all.html),不可超生一个!
6、河北电网:严禁触摸电线,五万伏高压,一触即死,不死法办;
7、浦东新区:垃圾分类,red wing boot store (http://www.redwingheritageboot.com/red-wing-shoes-8162-c-3.html),从我做起。
16)球论:
领导是篮球,既要紧跟又要使劲拍;
群众是排球,既要主动接球又要加强拦网;
工作是乒乓球,在台子上来回推挡不能停下;
问题是羽毛球,一定要把它扣在对方场地里,red wing sale (http://www.redwingheritageboot.com/);
棘手的事是网球,一定要大力扣杀;
调查研究是水球,半天不入门,而且水分还很多;
伺候领导是曲棍球,永远要弓着腰跑来跑去
标签 情感 语录 牧民 领导 组织