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07-29-2011, 06:29 AM
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Designer Handbags - A Beginner's Guide to Purchasing
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07-29-2011, 07:49 AM
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2170337 2009年10月10日 09:28 阅读(loading...) 评论(2) 分类:个人日记

●早上要戴隐形眼镜,结果把盖打开直接把眼镜倒马桶里,然后镇定地倒入新的护理液,准备摘眼镜,半天摘不下 来。
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●某日发现手机不见了,翻遍包包以及屋中各个角落,nike air force ones (http://www.cheapnikeairforceones.com/),未果。遂郁闷地跌坐地上,从口袋掏出手机,给大家群发短信:我手机丢了
●一次大家打麻将停电了,就点根蜡烛继续打,后来有人嫌热,嚷嚷“喂~把电扇打开”大家忙劝“不行不行,蜡 烛会被吹灭。
●自从宿舍里装上电话,我们就变成了"君子",君子动口不动手,当然更懒得动腿,有什么事宁可花点电话费,也不愿出门走动走动。我们屋有个小伙儿叫李雷 ,暑假找了份工作,在一家网站做程序员。昨天他上班去了,有人打电话找他,我接的。我说李雷不在,对方问他 回老家了吗?我说没有,对方说:"那你告诉他,我是他同学,你让他回来给我打个电话吧,电话号码是××××。"我拿笔记了下来(后来我才知道,其实那是斜对过宿舍的电话,跟我们不太熟)。
晚上李雷回来,light up air force one (http://www.cheapnikeairforceones.com/specials.html),我跟他说了电话的事,他说大概是高中同学打来的吧,于是就按那个电话回了过 去。李雷是陕西人,电话一通他就问:"请问你们这儿有陕西的吗?"接电话的人说:"我们这儿没有,我们对门倒是有一个,你等会儿啊,我给你喊......"
马上,就听到楼道里大喊:"李雷,过来接电话,你老乡!"
李雷愣了一下,跟我们屋老三说,我过去接个电话,这儿你帮我盯着,如果通了,就说我一会儿就回来。李雷过去 了,老三拿起电话。没过几秒钟,里面就传出"喂,喂"的声音,老三马上说:"他出去了,你等一下啊!"然后推开门就喊:"李雷,这个电话通了,赶快回来。"李雷在那边等了会儿,见没反应就挂了,回屋从老三手里接过电话,只能听到挂断后的"嘟嘟"声。"奇怪!"他郁闷地说:"怎么都没人接呢?"
然后他拿起记号码的纸条,再次拨通那个号码:"你们这儿有陕西的吗......"
●高中时候,班里一哥们,1981年生,不大,就是特老相.....
以下是他坐公交时发生的一点事情:
高二时候,这哥们坐公交去学校,因为路途长,百无聊赖的时候,邻座的一个35岁左右的男人跟他搭话,那人张 嘴就来句:“大哥,去哪里?”
这哥们也许是平常遭遇这样的待遇多了,也并不万分惊奇,颇平静的回答:“三中”。
那男人第二句话:“噢,去看孩子吧?孩子上学挺苦的.....”
那哥们脸部抽搐了一下,没吭声。
第三句话:“大哥,你孩子上几年级了?”那哥们是真烦了,也不解释,顺口来了句:”高一”
这个时候,经典出现了。那男人异常惊奇地瞪大眼睛看着那哥们,看了足足十秒钟,来了句:“大哥,那您结婚可 是挺晚的啊!”
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那个大饼往那男的手里一塞就跑了,整个过程一气呵成!!!
记得当时跑回学校大门往回看时,那男的还站在摊子前手拿那个缺了个口的大饼****呢。我到现在有时候想起 这事还忍不住捶自己两下!!!!
●一道题目要求把以下四句话用关联词连接:
1、张海迪姐姐瘫痪了;
2、张海迪姐姐顽强地学习;
3、张海迪姐姐学会了多门外语;
4、张海迪姐姐学会了针灸。
正确答案应该是:"张海迪姐姐虽然瘫痪了,但顽强地学习,不仅学会了多门外语,而且还学会了针灸。
结果有一个孩子写:虽然张海迪姐姐顽强地学会了针灸和多门外语,可她还是瘫痪了。
又发现一个更猛的孩子写道:张海迪姐姐不但学会了外语,还学会了针灸,她那么顽强地学习,终于 瘫痪了!
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●大一,一次去食堂打包子,谁知划卡机出了点毛病,一下划下去25块3,卖包子的哥哥鼓捣了半天也加不回去 ,于是可怜兮兮地说:“没事,我记得你,以后常来,直到把多划的钱用完。”我只好同意了。
可怜我上顿包子下顿包子地吃了一学期,包子哥哥还欠我2块3……最可气的是大学四年我竟然没找到一个女朋友 !!
直到毕业,有一天我走在校园林荫路上,就听后面一帮女生指指点点小声道:“没错,就是他!!以后可别找这样 男朋友,天天去二食堂吃包子不给钱!!”
●本人姓朱,管理单位机房。有次有人打我手机:“鸡科长,你在猪房吗?”当时狂骂那家伙一顿
●中午做饭,air force 1 shoes (http://www.cheapnikeairforceones.com/),妈妈给我一盆胡萝卜:“去,把胡萝卜切成肉丁,nike air force one (http://www.cheapnikeairforceones.com/)!”
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●和领导等众人喝酒,举起酒杯大声道:"让我们同归于尽吧!"当时脑子太热了
......
●一次去市场买菜,准备聚餐,一个韩国朋友买了生菜,要2块4,他把身上所有的零钱都给了小贩,还缺一毛钱 ,所以他对小贩说--
“我的毛,都给你了,所以没有毛了。”
小贩哑然,半天,回答--
“你的毛我不要了。”
●一次在食堂吃饭边吃边聊,突然发现自己把一块饭掉在了外面,暗自觉得浪费粮食对不起农民伯伯,就捡起来吃 了。可是后来发现那饭,好像不是我的……
●掐着一只大公鸡的脖子却不敢下刀,cheap air forces (http://www.cheapnikeairforceones.com/),踌躇良久,那只鸡竟然被俺掐死了
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